Victorians enjoying another day of no consequences for the most corrupt government in Australian history
Andrews said he would take full responsibility but will not resign until a board position at John Holland had opened up for him.
Satire
Australian media reverts back to COVID fear porn after finally realising no-one gives a fuck about Ukraine
The move comes as cost of living and interest rates begin to cripple the economy, and questions about why Albo was giving some shithole Eastern European nation of no significance to Australia, endless tax payer money and defence equipment.
Victoria to be first Australian state to ban traditional forms of birth control following successful deployment of COVID vaccines
Daniel Andrews announced that traditional forms of birth control would be banned, following the latest data release from Pfizer that showed successful disruptions of menstrual cycles in women and declining birth rates worldwide post-COVID jab.
Albanese to reduce record temporary migration by increasing record permanent migration
Albanese announced a target of 1 million permanent visas a year as the only way to restart Australia’s economy, backfill thousands of empty high rise apartments and affirm it’s commitment to the Great Replacement.
Xi defeats Albanese in landslide after Chinese citizens allowed to vote in Australian federal election
The victory was lauded as a result of the endless demoralisation project of Australia into EZFKA, a process which began in the 1970’s and expedited with New Zealand citizens being the first foreigners able to vote in Australian elections.
Albanese announces aid package for flood affected Sydney residents of $100 million worth of fridges from Victoria
Albanese said he will be returning to the flood affected area next week for a quick photo-op and then on his way out of the country again.
Epic scenes across Australia as “My Body, My Choice” protestors come out of hibernation after two years
Victorian Reason Party MLC Fiona Patten sacrificed a child to Moloch on the steps of Victorian Parliament in support of the protestors, and was looking at legislation to introduce abortion up to 28 days after birth.
Metropolitan Detention Centre announces cameras in Ghislaine Maxwell’s cell will be down for scheduled maintenance indefinitely
Maxwell, 60, is due to be sentenced this week for her part in a child sex trafficking ring led by Jeffrey Epstein and was placed on suicide watch yesterday, ahead of some scheduled camera servicing in her cell.
As Australia implodes, local conservative satisfied unmasking shitty Twitter account he could’ve just ignored is the hill to die on
Dave Kennedy, from Sydney, donated large amounts of money to grifter of the year Avi Yemeni in his court battle to unmask PRguy17. Kennedy believes the mounting numbers of crises including energy, hospital, inflation and supply change need to take a back seat for a while.
Andrews credits vaccine mandates, world record lockdowns and Police brutality for Melbourne returning to top of World’s Most Liveable City poll
The annual poll of property developers, immigration lobbyists and World Economic Forum members agreed with Andrews that the brutality, not seen since communist Russia, in the world’s most locked down city last year got it over the line.
Drag Queen Story Time mandates included as part of Victoria’s Free Childcare Package
Victorian parents will be able to access free childcare only at centres across the state that are staffed exclusively by paedophiles posing as entertainers.
Bunnings introduces ‘pay by facial scan only’ policy for snags
From next month, shoppers will only be allowed to pay by facial recognition, with those who pay with cash instantly apprehended and sent to camps in China’s Xinjiang Province.