Qantas announces heavily discounted flights to anyone who wants to fly with a vaccinated pilot

Qantas CEO Alan Joyce has announced a new program to kickstart tourism in EZFKA, with a new line of heavily discounted ‘insurance waiver’ flights to anyone who wants to roll the dice with a vaccinated pilot. Flights will be discounted up to 80% in some cases, particularly long haul flights when international borders re-open. Astra … Read more

Australian citizen stuck overseas for past 18 months delighted Afghan refugees to be brought to Australia before him

An Australian citizen that has been stuck offshore since March 2020, has applauded the decision to bring Afghan refugees to Australia ahead of Australian citizens. John Christenson, who has been stuck in Indonesia since his engineering contract was ended due to COVID19, is one of the 36,000 Australians stuck overseas who can’t get a flight … Read more

“Stop being selfish and follow the rules” says Melbourne man on Facebook demanding the closure of small business to “keep him safe”

“I don’t care how many people kill themselves, go bankrupt, lose their relationships and everything they’ve worked for, that’s not the point you selfish pricks. Bloody selfish arseholes putting people at risk with a disease with a 99.98% survival rate that affects mainly elderly and obese. Do as your bloody told!”

Study finds life imprisonment for state premiers would end Australian lockdowns overnight

A new study in EZFKA has found that life imprisonment for all of Australia’s state premiers, would end lockdowns instantly and return Australia to proper normalcy. The study, commissioned by the Institute of To The Barricades Mon Frere, found that putting all six state premiers and two territory chief minister in prison for no less … Read more

Melbourne man says he’d much prefer to wait for Pfizer’s Myocarditis rather than have Astra Zeneca’s blood clots

A man in the EZFKA city of Melbourne has stated that he’d much prefer to wait for Pfizer’s vaccine and Myocarditis, rather than risk it with blood clots from the Astra Zeneca. Drawing inspiration from Newscorp journalist Georgie Parker earlier in the week, David O’Reilly, 56, from Malvern said that he was not going to … Read more