Indonesian Human Trafficking Association endorses Anthony Albanese for Prime Minister
Keneally will be touring Denpasar next week, to show her support for opening the back door to Australia’s border.
Satire
Sydney Morning Herald hoping for smooth transition from COVID fear porn to climate change fear porn
Journalists from the Sydney Morning Herald in particular have already begun preparations to continue to scare the shit out of the public, with COP26 winding down in Glasgow.
‘Our government is full of wankers’ Palaszczuk defends Queensland Health masturbation post
The post, which many have claimed is an attempt to counter signal No Nut November, was made last week on Facebook to much derision.
Andrews denies calling Jussie Smollett prior to suspicious package being found at his office
An inquiry is now underway into the incident which is expected to go nowhere.
Twiggy Forrest gives stirring speech on Australia’s ‘climate change obligations’ from outside his private jet in Glasgow
Forrest and compatriot Gina Rinehart are expected to announce a new deal for ‘sustainable jet fuel’ from China this coming week.
‘Worst false flag ever’ Andrews slams piss poor performance by man with recurve bow out front of parliament
Daniel Andrews says that a man arrested out the front of the Victorian Parliament with an alleged recurve bow, was ‘complete amateur hour’ and that more measures were needed to distract the public and manufacture consent for more draconian legislation. After increasing size of protests and Adem Somyurek appearing before IBAC, a man with a … Read more
Jessie McCrone goes on indefinite stress leave as Adem Somyurek appears before IBAC
The staffer has been increasingly neurotic the past few weeks with IBAC proceedings ongoing. Somyurek’s appearance yesterday prompted McCrone to apply for stress leave.
Victoria Police disappointed they haven’t shot any protestors recently
Over 20,000 marched in the city on the weekend to protest the pending pandemic legislation, with many officers upset they had to stand back and watch rather than open fire.
Morrison wins $1 million reward for finding Cleo Smith
Western Australia’s Police Commissioner says a $1 million reward offered to find missing four-year-old Cleo Smith has now been awarded to Prime Minister Scott Morrison, who claimed to have prayed for her safety. The Prime Minister, who was in Glasgow at the time Cleo was found, forwarded his application for the reward to the WA … Read more
McGowan calls Joe Biden after shitting his pants looking at the iron ore price
McGowan called the President for advice on how to deal with the public embarrassment and coping strategies, as iron ore continues to plummet below $100 a ton.
Morrison proposes new “Great Replacement” immigration program to restart Australian economy
After months of firing people for not submitting to an experimental medical procedure, Morrison said the time was ripe for replacing skilled EZFKA workers with lower wage, foreign counterparts.
Victorian Labor Party members file lost property reports for missing testicles after new pandemic powers pass lower house
“All it will take is a few dissenting members to grow a set and dissent on the vote. Although that’s too much to ask from some of them clearly.”