Satire

The apology was issued after Betoota realised it went all of 2021 without an article mocking the ALP, and that the upcoming 2022 election would make it obvious to those still on the fence that they’re just an ALP mouthpiece.

Friendlyjordies, Aussie Cossack and Avi Yemeni will wait to see who will take home the coveted award, which saw a larger than usual field this year.

The long-time friend of ‘Lolita Express’ regular Bill Clinton has expressed relief as the judge sealed the records, for at least as long a period as the Wood Commission report.

Pfizer has announced they are currently in talks with Prime Minister Scott Morrison for supplying more Raid Antigen Tests as per the contract agreement.

The project, designed to placate the inner-city wanker voter base, will begin construction next year with an estimated over run and blowout cost of at least $30 billion after union fees and payments to Chicoms.

The law, being introduced by the Andrews government, will see it mandatory to under go at least two RAT’s before being considered Covid negative.

Mark Peterson left a touching suicide note for the state premier before hanging himself in his garage, citing the need to keep people safe from death from a disease they have a 99.9% chance of surviving, no matter what the cost.

Brian Normieson, of Newcastle, says taking two doses of a trial vaccine was totally worth it to not spend scheduled time with his family for the first time in two years, and be herded straight off the plane into a quarantine facility.

Prime Minister Scott Morrison has stated he believes ten boosters would be the minimum requirement for Australians to be considered fully vaccinated.

Experts say the modelling, which won’t be made public, show that deaths will occur in the thousands per minute if more jabs in arms aren’t administered immediately and fear porn isn’t ratcheted right back up.