Albanese said he will be scheduling more photo ops in the coming weeks and vowed ‘if Scomo doesn’t hold a shovel then I sure as hell won’t be getting my boots muddy.’
The man that pronounced it would never rain again has confirmed that he will not be participating in public debate, and that his decades long grift may have finally run it’s course.
The move comes as more homes are wiped out in NSW and Queensland due to record flooding in areas that are historicaly reknown for flooding.
The SES has declined to comment on the matter, but is believed to be introducing a policy to ban anyone who is not triple vaccinated from saving lives.
Defence Minister Peter Dutton and Home Affairs Minister Karen Andrews made the announcement of total firearm confiscations in a joint press conference, to show they were serious about protecting Australia.
EZFKAFL CEO Gillon MacLachlan has rejected claims that the move was purely to head off embarrassing on-field collapses unrelated to mandates and purely about reducing carbon emissions.
Migrants from India and Nepal have blasted the EZFKA government as being selfish to it’s own citizens, and have demanded more opportunities for visa holders to take Australian jobs and drive wages down further.
Albanese has also stated that the freezing of accounts will also apply to savers, union members and those who don’t own at least one investment property.
The report, released today by the Bread and Circus Institute, showed that the science demonstrated the re-opening of the border was to facilitate sportsball beginning in the second week of March, at the expense of everyone else.
The report, released today by the For Thee Not Mee Institute, showed that the majority of EZFKA’s prominent climate activists are just insufferable fuckwits that want to pass the cost of their own lives and vanity on to the working class.
Mike Harrison, from Penrith, says the sheer number of WEF candidates on offer at the federal election made it a tougher choice than usual.
After a record crowd descended on Canberra at the weekend to protest the federal government’s vaccine mandates, Albo took the opportunity to tell them to fuck off home and stop whinging about their jobs and bodily autonomy.