WA Premier Mark McGowan has vowed to set an IPhone reminder to remind to him to start the next lockdown in WA, after coming spectacularly close to missing the end date of the last state of emergency powers in WA.
Timbo
Australian man bravely ventures out from under the bed to see if virus with 99.8% survival rate has subsided
A Perth man has bravely come out from under his bed to see if the danger from the deadly COVID virus has subsided. John Morrison, 35 from Fremantle, went outside from under his bed for the first time in months to see if the danger had subsided. “Mate, Sunrise was telling me how deadly it … Read more
McGowan says 400,000 dog box apartments a year needed to boost WA’s economy
WA Premier Mark McGowan says at least 400,000 one bedroom apartments are needed to reboot the EZFKA state’s economy. McGowan stated that being reliant on the iron ore price was not a sound strategy and that eventually Perth would need to get with the times and fully embrace the real estate ponzi from the East … Read more
Victorian government employee wins “Snitch of the Year” award after shutting down 100 businesses for QR code violations
A Victorian government employee has won the coveted Victorian “Snitch of the Year” award for 2020, for his outstanding work shutting down businesses failing to comply with QR code check-ins. David Goldberg, an employee with the Victorian DHHS, was celebrated for shutting down over 105 businesses during 2020 lockdowns that failed to enforce the controversial … Read more
Victorians start moving to North Korea to experience some freedom
Residents of the EZFKA state of Victoria have started moving en masse to North Korea in a bid to escape continual lockdowns and arbitrary restrictions from COVID regulations. Melbourne in particular has experienced a mass exodus of former residents heading for North Korea, who have stated that they are hoping to experience some freedom and … Read more
Michael Slater blasts Scomo’s India flight ban from five-star resort in the Maldives
Former Australian cricketer Michael Slater has blasted Prime Minister Scott Morrison’s flight ban from India, while on a conference call from a five-star resort in the Maldives. Slater, who had been in India for the now cancelled IPL along with other Australian cricketers, was unable to get a flight home to Australia and was forced … Read more
McGowan says best way to prevent future lockdowns is using more Indian security guards working multiple jobs
WA Premier Mark McGowan says best way to prevent future lockdowns is to use more private security, with a continued preference for Indian international students. After a near-miss from a returning traveller from an Indian wedding, the second lockdown in WA was caused by an international student working a second job as an Uber driver … Read more
Macrobusiness comments section shut down after pro-Scott Morrison comment gets past censor and causes turmoil
The comments section of Macrobusiness was temporarily shutdown tonight, after a comment supporting Scott Morrison’s temporary travel ban from India managed to get past the censors. The comment from irregular user ‘Johnno1223’ stated that ‘the ban was only temporary and should be used to protect the citizens of EZFKA. Plus it has the added benefit … Read more
Dual-citizen Indian that hasn’t been to Australia in ten years says he’s been abandoned by the Morrison government travel ban
A dual-citizen Indian that has not been to the Economic Zone Formerly Known As Australia since 2013 has lashed out at the Morrison Government for abandoning him. Despite overwhelming public support for the ban and even more supporting a permanent ban on flights from India, dual citizens says they have been left in the dark. … Read more
“Keep the borders open with India” says party still unsure why they lost 2019 federal election
The ALP has criticised the Morrison government for it’s temporary COVID travel ban with India, saying “it’s a racist, gross violation of human rights.” Anthony Albanese and Bill Shorten have both made statements in the last week opposing the bans originating from India to the Economic Zone Formerly Known As Australia, despite mass public support … Read more
Uber Eats, Deliveroo ask for bail out after Australia bans flights from India
Food delivery services in the Economic Zone Formerly Known As Australia are in serious financial trouble tonight, after Scott Morrison has banned flights from India. Citing a COVID outbreak in the subcontinent, all direct flights from India will be banned until May 15 which has hit the food delivery and transport industry particularly hard. “It’s … Read more