Timbo

“Keep the borders open with India” says party still unsure why they lost 2019 federal election

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The ALP has criticised the Morrison government for it’s temporary COVID travel ban with India, saying “it’s a racist, gross violation of human rights.” Anthony Albanese and Bill Shorten have both made statements in the last week opposing the bans originating from India to the Economic Zone Formerly Known As Australia, despite mass public support … Read more

Uber Eats, Deliveroo ask for bail out after Australia bans flights from India

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Food delivery services in the Economic Zone Formerly Known As Australia are in serious financial trouble tonight, after Scott Morrison has banned flights from India. Citing a COVID outbreak in the subcontinent, all direct flights from India will be banned until May 15 which has hit the food delivery and transport industry particularly hard. “It’s … Read more

Jacinda Ardern says at least 4 more lockdowns necessary for middle class submission to the Great Reset

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The Economic Zone Formerly Known as New Zealand’s Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has stated that she believes at least 4 more lockdowns are necessary to break the middle class into submission, in order to accept the globalist Great Reset. Ardern, who has threatened “no jab no job” policies at the weekend, has stated that she … Read more

Uber Eats rider who caused multiple fatality accident in Melbourne says more needs to be done to protect riders

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The EZFKA city of Melbourne is reeling tonight, after a multiple fatality accident in the CBD killed three citizens. An Uber Eats rider has been taken into custody and charged with three counts of negligent driving causing death, after three pedestrians were killed after they were struck by a scooter on the footpath. Speaking through … Read more

EZFKA to lockdown for a month after Hubble space telescope detects coronavirus near Alpha Centauri

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Prime Minister Scott Morrison has ordered EZFKA into lockdown for a month, after NASA stated the Hubble space telescope had detected what appeared to be coronavirus on Proxima Centauri. The planet, located within the Alpha Centauri star system, displayed what appeared to be COVID fragments, sparking serious concerns among National Cabinet. Morrison said that Australians … Read more