Minister Sinister
“I got what I wanted in the end. A few self-interested rants on Sky News during lockdown was all it took to get my own way, so fuck everyone else I’m alright Jack,” Penman said.
“I’ve only got one trick and that’s to keep the borders closed. After that, fuck knows. I’ll call Kerry Stokes and get the West Australian to write some glowing, sycophantic bullshit to get more support,” McGowan said.
“Bloody protestors putting us all at risk. They’re exactly the reason I can’t go on my caravan holiday to the Barossa Valley or the cruise to Fiji I had planned. Lock’em all up and throw away the key,” Robertson said.
“It wasn’t one of our run-of-the-mill satanic rituals that we usually broadcast prior to QandA, and this one had not been through the proper censorship screening. We’re currently consulting with lawyers from jeffrey Epstein’s estate and will release further statements later.”
Victoria Police have advised anyone approaching 100 metres of the site is warned they may be tear gassed, pepper sprayed ‘or worse.’
“Mate, I’m all for shutting down everyone else’s work and source of income, but closing the parks down so I can’t get the kids out of the house while I’m working form home is a bridge too far. Sack Andrews now!”
Albanese said it would be on the usual ALP condition of a ticket in exchange for a vote, with the carrot of full access to the usual suite of EZFKA public services and debt.
The triple vaccinated are demanding that double vaccinated be barred from buying groceries, going across state borders and sent to quarantine facilities until they receive their booster shot. They’re also demanding that they be forced to wear some kind of identifier on their clothing, to let strangers know they’re only double vaccinated.
“We had a decisive victory the other weekend when we shut the city down when there was no protest, so protestors need to watch out,” Fuller said.
“I don’t care how many people kill themselves, go bankrupt, lose their relationships and everything they’ve worked for, that’s not the point you selfish pricks. Bloody selfish arseholes putting people at risk with a disease with a 99.98% survival rate that affects mainly elderly and obese. Do as your bloody told!”
“The United States has shown the way, the only way to secure free and fair elections is by mail-in ballot and combined with minor party requirements will give greater certainty of a favourable election result,” Morrison said.
“This is exactly what I signed up for. Particularly when I went through Kapooka I thought, man, how good would it be to carry luggage at hotels for returning citizens for hotel quarantine. It is important preparation for the internment camps later on,” Private A said.