Minister Sinister
Keneally stated that her exclusive Scotland Island estate was “too far away to commute from” and that living among the migrants that the ALP have dumped en masse into Western Sydney, had “nothing to do with it.”
w the same rules and validity periods as lockdowns. We’ll announce them for three weeks, for three weeks at a time, forever,” Berejiklian said.
“I’ll also be ordering a full review and directing NSW Police to further bully citizens in that area for not wearing masks, in order to calm the situation.”
After Dr Kerry Chant’s disastrous “new world order” Freudian slip, Premier Berejiklian announced that this would be the end of the line for the daily doom show and that journalists would soon find out how non-essential they really are.
ICU’s at NSW’s hospitals are at breaking point this evening with a record number of admissions for self-harm from mainstream media journalists, after witnessing Sydney residents telling them to get fucked over lockdown. Journalists from across the media were admitted to ICU’s across Sydney, sparking a crisis and condemnation for ‘taking up ICU spots.’ “It’s … Read more
It is understood a delegation from EZFKA comprising of Australian Police Commissioners will also be in attendance, to study how best to manage the “Australian protests of the future.”
“Well, I never really wanted to take the jab and I’ve now only got about 5 years to live with a 66% mortality rate and shit quality of life. But hey, at least being snarky about 5G and putting something on social media was worth ending my life prematurely for.”
The first EZFKAFL Grand Final in Perth will be played over a six-week period, after Premier Mark McGowan ruled players will be required to quarantine for 14 days between quarters. McGowan is also demanding that players wear masks on the field at all times and that he reserved the right to cancel the game at … Read more
Chief Health Officers in respective EZFKA states have been announced as headline acts for the 2022 Melbourne International Comedy Festival. The 2022 event, sponsored by Pfizer, will feature the best of Australia’s material from daily press conferences performed live. “It’s been non-stop comedy gold every day at 11am, so we thought why don’t we ask … Read more
“When we get to that stage, I’ll be announcing what goalposts we’ll be shifting and what freedoms will be made dependent on what booster shots are available at the time and then changing them a week later,” Andrews said.
“Absolutely selfish behaviour from these small business owners that have lost everything trying to take their own lives when there’s a pandemic on,” Karvelas said.
“The prick tried to rip off a struggling small business owner. We’re all in this together though right?,” Mark, owner of the Safe Labor Seat Café in Dandenong, said to reporters.