Andrews solves hospital crisis by ensuring each Ambulance crew has one Diversity and Inclusion officer

Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews has announced a staffing boost for Ambulance Victoria to address the critical staff shortages across the state.

As part of the move, each Ambulance will be legally required to have a Diversity and Inclusion officer on board to ensure that no discrimination is taking place during treatment and that white men are excluded from call outs.

“The hospital system will benefit greatly from this and call out times will be significantly reduced,” Andrews said.

“There will be penalties for patients who misgender or use the incorrect pronouns of staff and we will be checking social media posts. Diversity officers may decide to deny treatment if they believe there has been hate speech.”

Andrews says he is also looking at importing skilled paramedics from the subcontinent to fill any further gaps, given their ultra-high standard of care in the third world.