YIMBY’s are the scum of the world

YIMBY’s are rapidly shaping up to be my most despised people in Australia at the moment. I’m not somebody with a lot of tolerance, but there’s something about these people that really get under my skin, and hard. For those of you who don’t know, YIMBY’s are the a band totally-not-astroturfed political operatives who see the solution to Australia’s housing woes as primarily a supply side endeavour. YIMBY’s believe that evil zoning laws, supposed ‘red tape’ and heritage restrictions are the principal impediment to resolving the so-called housing crisis; without these things, a complete laissez faire land market economy, we could absorb any quantity of immigration we wanted.

YIMBY’s overwhelmingly seem to be extremely allergic to any discussion of demand side factors – they will almost never acknowledge the obvious simple solution, which is to materially cut immigration, or freeze it entirely. A lot of this is because they are simply paid astroturfers – especially the YIMBY chief poibahs, such as notorious GRIDS ridden cue ball Peter Tulip, whose purpose for being is simply to obfuscate the whole debate, and make any demand side solution unpalatable and impossible. But not all of them are. At their core, many YIMBY’s are old school libertarians, or lolberts as they derisively have come to be known. The idea of restricting human movement anywhere to them is antithetical to their world view – which I believe is heavily predicated in their own autism spectrum derived solipsism. Libertarianism as a political movement peaked and largely disappeared in the United States sometime after the failure of presidential candidate Ron Paul to achieve electoral traction around 2012, but their spectre still lives on in the EZFKA, which is always at least 10-15 years behind the U.S on any given political trend.

Are the YIMBY’s corrrect? A cursory glance of Australia’s building trends suggests we are already one of the biggest builders of homes in the OECD. I’m sure we could build a few more if these regulatory impediments were removed – but why should we have to, even if YIMBY’s weren’t clearly underrating the difficulties in implementing supply side solutions? The rationale to build is driven entirely by our immigration program, without which our population would either be stable or in gradual decline. The underpinning pillars of this immigration program, as we all know, range from highly suspect to bogus to outright fraudulent, and actually represent the objectives of a grab bag of malicious political, economic and ethnic group interests that are at odds with those of ordinary EZFKA units, whether they are aware of it or not and are able to think beyond “muh house value just went up”.

YIMBY’s clearly don’t care much for heritage or architecture. Keeping in mind that the average YIMBY has some form of autism, so public aesthetics, and the built up living environment are irrelevant in their minds. Nothing matters except pure function, stacking as many people into a given space as possible to conform to their satisfying and cloying spreadsheet calculations. If the YIMBY’s had existed since the Renaissance, the city of Venice today would be comprised (maybe, if they were generous) of a few landmark architectural showpieces such as the Rialto bridge and the Doge’s palace, surrounded by an ever growing canopy of ‘internationalist’ style Meriton dogboxes, subject to bulldozing every 20 years to give way to even taller structures to house more sub-continentals, biafrans and other discharges from various overpopulated third world shitholes. One of the principal reasons anyone goes to Europe at all would simply not exist if the unsentimental and materialist YIMBY autists had free reign to do whatever they wanted; ironically, they will call anyone a communist for disagreeing with their prescriptions, but the kinds of cities they want to build are eerily similar to those constructed by mid-century Leninist regimes. They even share the old communist disregard for architectural heritage which saw a lot of historic buildings in the second world needlessly dynamited. Though the YIMBY’s aren’t actually communists (communists actually managed to build things, YIMBYs never will), it’s an amusing real world observation of horse shoe theory.

Talking to these people on Twitter is an infinitely frustrating experience. The more savvy astroturfer wing of the YIMBY movement won’t acknowledge you at all, with Tulip in particular prone to reach for the block button when challenged faster than he reaches for his daily antiretroviral. Others will engage you in a usually smarmy, shit-eating manner; you develop a rapid cognizance that these types are completely absent of any charm or actual knowledge of any of the concepts they throw at people to justify their smugness. Here’s one YIMBY I was blocked by for pointing out that he was using a totally inappropriate metric, namely nominal aggregate GDP, as evidence that immigration is economically beneficial. Probably the worst is this motherfucker, who if I saw on the street I would deadset deck between the eyes because I hate the smarmy fucking cunt and his ugly misshapen head. Even his surname foretells his inevitable future.

To summarise, the average YIMBY is a blend of dead-eyed, monetarist libertarianism fused with Reddit style urbanist prescriptions about ‘mixed use’ medium density apartments and bike lanes nobody uses. If everywhere was a six storey Meriton style apartment block with a Sumo Salad and a Guzman Y Gomez on the bottom floor there’d be no need for heaven for any of these losers, because they’d already be living there.