Poll shows 95% of Australians support deporting Peter Fitzsimons to North Korea

A new poll has found that Australians have overwhelmingly support deporting Fairfax columnist Peter Fitzsimons to North Korea on a permanent basis.

The Institute for Based Australians’ poll found that an overwhelming number of Australians wanted the self-described ‘fuckwit with a platform’ kicked out to Pyongyang forever, after a piece calling for medical segregation in the Sydney Morning Herald last week.

Only 5% objected on the basis they’d prefer if Fitzsimons was ‘given a proper medical beating to treat his already prevalent CTE issues evident in his opinions.’

Other respodents to the survey labelled Fitzsimons ‘a try-hard tough guy’ and ‘purveyor of normie rage porn to keep Fairfax’s advertisers happy.’

Fitzsimons, married to The Project’s intellectual heavyweight and part-time botox experiment Lisa Wilkinson, has not responded from his mansion in South-East Sydney, but said he would be making a statement as soon as he’d ‘had his morning turd’ which he has repeatedly stated is the inspiration for his writing.